I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize