I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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