May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize