can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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