overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
