You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
