Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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