In the future we'll all be gay
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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