do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
