guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
