Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
her vagine was all disorganized.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
