ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
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He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
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So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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