He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
