I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
