i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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