So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
