im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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