He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
