You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
This is the high leading the old right now
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
