Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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