FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
