So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
These tits shall not be calmed
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
