non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
