Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
