do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
