Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
youre lurking in front of me
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.