This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.