her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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