U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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