her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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