Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
