never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize