i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
