He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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