The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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