That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize