Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
