Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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