did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
