he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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