If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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