Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
