just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
