he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
