It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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