I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
