The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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