The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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