There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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