3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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