Pappa wants mamma naked
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
