he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
