she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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