Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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