I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
