At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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