hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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