is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
