Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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