You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
