then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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