ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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