wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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